Personal account of the blessed Br. William Dixon

[from the Wachovia Diary for March 1764]

He left an account written in the English language, from whence the following matters are noteworthy concerning him.

I was born, he writes, in Hunsletts, Leeds Parish in Yorkshire on 4 June 1716. My father was a weaver, as I myself later became. My mother, who had converted from the Roman Catholic to the Protestant denomination after her marriage, was assuredly an awakened soul. She often told me that she gave me, both body and soul, to the Saviour. Thus I was His possession, even from the very moment of my conception. She prayed that while in the world I might live for Him alone. And I indeed am certain that He called me from my mother's womb and chose me. Even as a child of five or six years I had felt much restlessness in my heart. I always sought out those companions whom I deemed most virtuous and retired [from the world], and I remained with them. Nevertheless, I was unable to do as they did. I lived in this way until my 16th year, when I was confirmed and went to Communion. For a couple of years thereafter I proceeded along my own solitary path. Then I adhered to more devout, law-abiding people who wished to lead holy lives. With them I went to Communion every four weeks. We all were truly one in Him, and I found blessing with them. My heart, however, was growing increasingly restless and reached such a critical state that I secretly thought about taking my life. Then I chose to drive away the disquiet by means of fleshly pleasures. Nothing, however, was of any help.

In the year 1741 I heard Mr. Ingham preach in my church, and I forthwith decided to follow his teaching. The Saviour came into my heart, and I realized that without him I was a lost creature. Amid my heart's greatest perplexity he provided the living words: Him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out [John 6:37]. Though I were surrounded without and within by distress and miseries a thousand fold, I could believe this. Thereafter, I found a genuine blessing for my heart when I heard Bro. Böhler preach the Gospel with power and grace. It now became exceedingly clear to me that the Saviour had poured out His blood even for me. This knowledge quieted and blessed my heart. I gained an abhorrence for my previous deeds and doings that was as strong as the fondness I formerly had had for them. Ever since then the Holy Spirit has constantly proved to be a faithful mother to me, has taught me the significance of the Wounds of Jesus, and has supported me. I cannot possibly offer sufficient praise and adoration in return.

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When the blessed Jünger [Nicolaus Ludwig von Zinzendorf], held a Gemeintag [Unity Day] celebration one time in Yorkshire, I immediately felt a longing to be received into the Gemeine. This desire was granted in the year 1745, and in 1746 I also attained the privilege of participating in Holy Communion with the Gemeine. During this same year I also had the blessing of being in the first closed Oeconomie there with ten Brothers, and subsequently I lived in the one in Lambshill. In the year 1747 I was in Archit with six Brothers. Then in 1748 I, along with 16 Brothers, was in Gummersall. I remained in that place until my journey to Pennsylvania in the year 1749. Already in 1744 I had felt an inclination to go thither, but at that time I lay dangerously ill with a fever and jaundice. During the ninth night my mother actually awaited my end. I told her, however, that I first must go to Pennsylvania.

On 14 June 1749 I arrived in dear Bethlehem and spent a blissful time there until the year 1753, when I fell into a state of confusion. I decided to go to N. York so that I might work quietly by myself and might thus abide in the Saviour. But even at my first night's lodging, which was on the Dellaware, I received from Him a sign that I ought to turn back, for otherwise everything would lead me astray. Moreover, I thought about what would assuredly be a blessing for my soul, which indeed had only the slightest sense of the Saviour, and I thanked Him. Nevertheless, I continued onward to New York. The first night I was there I dreamed I was in Bethlehem and lay at Br. Joseph's [August Gottlieb Spangenberg's] feet, kissing him even as I wept. And it seemed as though I could never leave him again. On the following morning it was as if the Saviour were saying to me: My dear child, your home is not here. I did not call you to live here, but rather in Bethlehem. I could do nothing for two hours except weep, and in a moment I decided to return thither once more. There my heart would grow serene again and as full of joy as before. Never in my life have I recognized so well His faithfulness toward me as I did at that time. I could not thank Him enough for the love and patience He showed toward me.

On 20 March I arrived in Bethlehem again. Such was my joy, however, that I could not sleep that entire night. Later, on 16 May, the Saviour bestowed full absolution upon me during Communion, letting my receptive heart sense His tender heart's kiss, just as I had expected. And so I then enjoyed times that were very blissful. On 25 August 1755 I was joined in holy matrimony with the Single Sr. Christina Orchard as my eyes flowed almost constantly with tears of shame and humility. In the year 1756 I was appointed to tend the sick among the men. I served in this capacity

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until June 1759, when I, together with my wife, journeyed to Wachovia. My wife and I
arrived in Bethabara on 23 July.

The blessed Brother's account extends to this point.

He served here [in Bethabara] as storekeeper in our store for so long as he was here below. Moreover, he performed this work, early and late, with a willing, faithful heart — and so untiringly that from time to time his health indeed suffered. This was especially the case during the great heat of summertime. He generally used to lay a number of deerskins outdoors in the dew for several hours before daylight each day and pound them. Then he would bring them back inside before the summer heat set in, In this connection he had not a little to endure from the strangers, in particular the unruly hunters who came to the store. All of the Brethren and Sisters, however, loved him because of his readiness to serve and his unselfish faithfulness. He will be very greatly missed at our store.

With respect to his heart, he was a poor sinner who was well aware of his wretched, corrupt condition, He had le,amed through experience that one can fall into much misfortune if he does not continually avail himself, as a sick man, of the cure for Death. He was meek and grateful for any love and correction in this regard. And so we could derive much comfort from his childlike, blissful intimacy with the Man of Sorrows, especially during this past year.

The Saviour blessed his almost nine years of marriage with two daughters and two sons. The former are in the girls' boarding school in Bethlehem; the latter are here with their mother.

His final illness began about 12 days ago with erysipelas, which affected his face. It was his custom to make little of minor incidents and indispositions, for he paid them but slight attention. And so in his usual way he decided this time not to do much about the problem. In fact, he carried on his work at the store, which was considerably busier at that time. Thus the erysipelas struck again. He also had a severe fever of the chest, the jaundice, just as had occurred 20 years earlier in Yorkshire. He lay there very patiently, saying that nothing at all was hurting him. In this manner he passed his remaining hours amid blissful contentment and in intimate association with the Saviour. Moreover, he knew that nothing more would trouble him,

Page 4, Br. William Dixon, d, 1764

On the day before his home-going he bade his wife a tender farewell of ingenuous humility. Then several hours before his death he asked, with special emphasis and feeling, for the following hymn stanzas (in English]:

His Goodness and his Mercies all shall follow my Abode, etc.,

Grant me to lean unshaken on thy Fidelity, etc.,

and the Saviour's Blood and Righteousness, etc.

With full submissiveness he waited for the Saviour's will to be accomplished.

He received the last Kiss (of Peace] on the 7th of this month (March 1764] at 4 o'clock in the morning, when the blessing of the Gemeine and of his Choir was bestowed upon him. After remaining present in his mind almost until his final breath, he gently went to sleep, indeed, like a contented child and without the least agitation, having been made ready just several minutes earlier.

At the time of his death he had lived 48 years, less 3 months. He had often told his wife that he would go home during his 48th year.